October 31, 2009
yumwatch: walpaper: Oy, LA. You know what though, the 10 and the 101 here look fairly clear; the 101-110-5 interchange is a bitch (AS ALWAYS) but I firmly believe that’s cause those are the arteries of the city, and of course they’re always clogged! We live on pork fat and salt water: we’ve got problems with circulation. Anyway, the secrets to freeway life in LA have always been: to take the 110 whenever you can; take Venice instead of the 10; know which canyons will be clearest on a Friday afternoon (never Beverly Glen, UCLA traffic is the BITCH); work against the diurnal traffic flows when you’re thinking of where to live (go west or north in the morning, east or south in the evening, all bets are off if you’re traveling on the West Side, which has THE WORST STREET/FREEWAY traffic in all of the Southland). I drive stick, I can parallel park, I know which way to point the wheels when you’re parking on a hill. I wave people ahead of me at intersections. You have to be that kind of person around here unless you have a serious interest in GOING CRAZY. Learn the grid, don’t drive like an asshole, get a small & efficient car, always use your signal, practice good will towards others. Keep a good distance between yourself and other cars. Don’t touch your phone. Music is ok, eating and drinking probably necessary. Texting or talking on the phone is not. Sorry, yo. Smoking is allowable, only because I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t say so. Taking pictures for Tumblr is sometimes allowable, but only in the case of a shaming somebody who’s a bad driver. :D I learned how to drive on the 405 freeway when I was a teenager— which means now I’ve been practicing for like THIRTEEN YEARS and I’ve only gotten two minor traffic tickets and been in two minor fender-benders. I know the length and breadth and depth of most major neighborhoods in the LA Basin. I can get to the Inglewood Courthouse and the best Malibu beaches, I can park in Westwood or Hollywood for less than $3 an hour on weeknights, I can cheat the Santa Monica Parking Imperial Soldiers (sometimes) and I know the magic hour for seaside parking in Manhattan Beach. And I can do all of that via the SCENIC ROUTE. (Although somehow I’ve got the worst luck when it comes to random accidents — I’ve had a ladder fall on my car, a guy back up into me even though we were both STOPPED at a light, random parking-lot collisions, and once I ran into a curb on the way home from Disneyland, but that’s cause I was REALLY tired.) But otherwise I’m totally cautious! pointers on driving on LA, also: flash the peace sign. ;)

yumwatch:

walpaper:

Oy, LA.

You know what though, the 10 and the 101 here look fairly clear; the 101-110-5 interchange is a bitch (AS ALWAYS) but I firmly believe that’s cause those are the arteries of the city, and of course they’re always clogged! We live on pork fat and salt water: we’ve got problems with circulation.

Anyway, the secrets to freeway life in LA have always been: to take the 110 whenever you can; take Venice instead of the 10; know which canyons will be clearest on a Friday afternoon (never Beverly Glen, UCLA traffic is the BITCH); work against the diurnal traffic flows when you’re thinking of where to live (go west or north in the morning, east or south in the evening, all bets are off if you’re traveling on the West Side, which has THE WORST STREET/FREEWAY traffic in all of the Southland).

I drive stick, I can parallel park, I know which way to point the wheels when you’re parking on a hill. I wave people ahead of me at intersections. You have to be that kind of person around here unless you have a serious interest in GOING CRAZY.

Learn the grid, don’t drive like an asshole, get a small & efficient car, always use your signal, practice good will towards others. Keep a good distance between yourself and other cars. Don’t touch your phone. Music is ok, eating and drinking probably necessary. Texting or talking on the phone is not. Sorry, yo. Smoking is allowable, only because I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t say so. Taking pictures for Tumblr is sometimes allowable, but only in the case of a shaming somebody who’s a bad driver. :D

I learned how to drive on the 405 freeway when I was a teenager— which means now I’ve been practicing for like THIRTEEN YEARS and I’ve only gotten two minor traffic tickets and been in two minor fender-benders. I know the length and breadth and depth of most major neighborhoods in the LA Basin. I can get to the Inglewood Courthouse and the best Malibu beaches, I can park in Westwood or Hollywood for less than $3 an hour on weeknights, I can cheat the Santa Monica Parking Imperial Soldiers (sometimes) and I know the magic hour for seaside parking in Manhattan Beach. And I can do all of that via the SCENIC ROUTE.

(Although somehow I’ve got the worst luck when it comes to random accidents — I’ve had a ladder fall on my car, a guy back up into me even though we were both STOPPED at a light, random parking-lot collisions, and once I ran into a curb on the way home from Disneyland, but that’s cause I was REALLY tired.)

But otherwise I’m totally cautious!

pointers on driving on LA, also: flash the peace sign. ;)

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